• Days 19, 20, and 21: Brevity is the soul of

    Days 19, 20, and 21: Brevity is the soul of

    I fly home for my annual haj to Northern NY on Saturday morning; this year I’ve pre-resigned (presigned!) myself to getting stranded in one of the four airports involved in the trek, and it’s really taken a lot of stress off the trip. Y’all enjoy your seven fishes and familial love or whatever; me and…

  • Day 17: Imagining the Legos Inside Robinson Cano

    Day 17: Imagining the Legos Inside Robinson Cano

    So tonight I finally get to try balut, which is a developing duck embryo that is boiled alive and eaten in the shell. My list of things ingested is long and illustrious — it ranges from “bull penis” to “a dime” — and I’m constantly chasing the dragon of new foods to try, which also…

  • Days 15 + 16: How much is that doggy lost in the interdimensional time portal?

    Days 15 + 16: How much is that doggy lost in the interdimensional time portal?

    So this past weekend a bunch of us attempted to escape our Santa Con-adjacent apartments with our own version of Spoons, Tune, and Booze; five boxes of cereal, a bloody mary bar, and a bit torrent client make for a pretty sweet little Saturday, and allowed us to revisit the animated Xmas classics of our…

  • Days 13 and 14: This one’s for all the gay Star Wars fans in the house

    Days 13 and 14: This one’s for all the gay Star Wars fans in the house

    My friend Secret Santa was last night, dubbed “Secret Satan” because I organize this event and cheap humor and sacrilegious wordplay are sorta my jam. Only two gifts were purely for sexual recreation, three if you’re using the vials of VHS Head Cleaner as poppers instead of for their intended purpose.  My Christmas cracker contained…

  • Day 12: The bell tolls for tree

    Day 12: The bell tolls for tree

    No time for an intro today, as a holiday vendor lunch called and as you might have guessed, my love, loyalty, and corporate budget can be bought quite easily.  The days are just packed, you know? Let’s get right to the box today. ———————————————- DAY 12 Woof. I know the makings of an awkwardly geometric…

  • Day 11: An Absence of Epaulettes!

    Day 11: An Absence of Epaulettes!

    I’ve had a rough 48 hours with algorithms.  Specifically, Facebook’s advertising feed seems to be cataloguing what they assume is my Holliday descent into madness and debauchery. Things started with the fairly innocuous Free Shipping on Legos.  This makes sense, given my amount of posting about same, and was actually sort of cute and enjoyable.…

  • Day 11: The politesse of meeting yourself.

    Day 11: The politesse of meeting yourself.

    Decorated my Christmas tree last night, which is something I’ve been doing since I was about 13 and my parents gave the whole “Christmas is in our hearts not taking up floorspace” speech a community college try that ended with the commercial break and “but you know where the decorations are.” So for one month…

  • Days 8, 9,and 10: One word: PLASTICS!

    Days 8, 9,and 10: One word: PLASTICS!

    Jen eating her way through most of an ark whilst on an ark makes me think that perhaps it’s time to address a sticky subject: we’re all going to be eating bugs soon.  If you aren’t already, you’re going to need to – too many people, not enough protein, otherwise. This is not news to the…

  • Days 8, 9, and 10: Cherry Chair, Hairy Chair, Fairy Chair.

    Days 8, 9, and 10: Cherry Chair, Hairy Chair, Fairy Chair.

    Back from a lovely Bahamian cruise where I ate and drank enough to make Michael Pollan abandon all hope, and where I learned that every single song has a line dance/shuffle/slide/hustle associated with it and you don’t know it and it’s time to stop dancing like no one is watching and you should probably start…

  • Days 6 and 7: Gators R Us

    Days 6 and 7: Gators R Us

    If you are going to read one thing on the internet  today (hahahaha… only one thing on the internet.  What a joke), don’t read this blog.  Read this. But, if you aren’t going to take my well meant advice and are, instead, dedicated to reading the rest of this blog, buckle up.  I’m going to…